Many people dream of the perfect proposal, but things don’t always go to plan. One Redditor was backed online for ditching her own engagement party, after finding out that her boyfriend was planning a public proposal he knew she’d hate.
Posting to the AmItheA****** subreddit on August 4, user u/WashInformal8704 explained that she and her boyfriend had been talking about getting married for a while, even discussing rings. Although they hadn’t decided when or where the wedding would take place, she made it clear to her boyfriend that she does not want a public proposal.
“The very idea gives me hives and makes me queasy with anxiety,” she wrote. “There have been a few times when I thought he was going to ask, but I was wrong each time.”
Last week, the couple went out for her birthday. They’d planned to go out for dinner to celebrate, but before heading out the poster received a disturbing phone call from her father.
“My dad called before I left, asking if our big announcement tonight was baby-related, and if so he’d like to congratulate me in advance in case he didn’t make it due to a travel delay,” she said.
“I put two and two together, and immediately called my best friend who reluctantly confirmed my fears. She hadn’t wanted to spoil bf’s surprise but she also tried her best to convince him to scale it down because she knew I wouldn’t like what he’d planned.”
A woman expressed her hatred of public marriage proposals, but her boyfriend decided to go ahead with the “grand gesture” anyway, according to a Reddit post. Above, a man’s hand holds out an engagement ring to a woman putting up her hand to stop him.
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A survey of 2,000 Americans commissioned by Hungry Howie’s and conducted by One Poll found that 28 percent would like a “cheesy, over-the-top proposal.” While 31 percent of respondents said they’d choose something more “private and intimate,” 67 percent revealed a secret love for elaborate engagements.
Unfortunately, 58 percent who’d previously been engaged regretted the way their proposal was executed, with 45 percent wishing they had a chance to do it over. Thirty-one percent of engagement couples also admitted to lying about how their proposal went down to make it seem more impressive. By comparison, only 23 percent wished their proposal has been more “low-key” than it was in real life.
As for the most popular way to get engaged, the poll showed that the classic “proposing over dinner” is still the winner. Sixty-five percent of those surveyed got engaged during a meal, with pizza voted the best food to hide a ring in.
Panicking over the “surprise” engagement, the poster called her boyfriend and confronted him.
She said: “He couldn’t deny it, and after he told me he’d reserved the entire restaurant for 75 people, I told him that this wasn’t what I wanted, and that I’d be happy to attend, but only if he promised not to do it in front of everyone there.
“He said he’d told some people, and that word got around and they were now expecting a proposal, so he was going to do it otherwise we would’ve wasted everyone’s time and money coordinating and getting them down there.
“I said that if he insisted on doing this in a way which made me uncomfortable, I wouldn’t be coming at all. I hung up at that point and stopped answering because I was hurt,” she said.
Since the party proposal backfired, the couple has been arguing nonstop, with her boyfriend saying she’d “embarrassed him in front of our friends and family by not showing up.”
“He says I’m making a big deal of it when we both know I would have said yes, and that I’m being ungrateful because any other woman would kill for a bf who would go through the trouble to make a grand gesture,” she said.
“While I agree that I had every intention of saying yes when I knew it was coming, I don’t like being put on the spot or being made to feel obligated to say yes because of an audience.”
Her boyfriend is now refusing to propose again until WashInformal8704 apologizes and promises to “chill out about my preferences in the future.”
“I don’t feel like I should because he knew I would have preferred something more intimate and romantic,” she said.
Redditor users dubbed the poster’s boyfriend “an AH,” with the post receiving 5,000 upvotes and over 1,300 comments at the time of this writing.
“He tried to co-op her birthday into an engagement party thinking she wouldn’t catch onto his master plan,” said SkrogedScourge.
“He invited 75 people to do this in front of and prance the OP around like a show pony. He then acts like he’s justified in his actions after ignoring all the signs he’s making a major a****** move then has the balls to demand an apology,” SkrogedScourge wrote.
WebBorn2622 agreed, writing: “He knows you aren’t comfortable with this, but decides to do it anyway because it makes him look good.
“Instead of treating you like your own person he decides that you are just a part of the perfect proposal that could be to anyone.”
User jessicabing commented: “SKIP the YEARS of unhappy marriage, divorce, and custody issues.
“You guys are NOT on the same page at all but more than that HE DOESN’T CARE that you’re on different pages, he just wants you to get on his ASAP. Run.”
WashInformal isn’t the only person to have a public proposal go horribly wrong. One unfortunate couple recently went viral after their magic moment was interrupted by a “smug” Disney employee. And last month a giraffe decided a romantic safari proposal was his time to shine, headbutting the bride-to-be in the face.
Newsweek reached out to u/WashInformal8704 for comment.
