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Is it important to have a congregation at a wedding? Just ask any couple that has celebrated the sacrament of marriage during COVID.
Last summer, I presided at a wedding with only 12 people present. The bride’s and the groom’s witnesses were there. So were their parents, brothers and sisters — and no one else. The couple’s hearts ached for all those who were missing, so we made a deal. On their one-year anniversary we would reenact their marriage with the renewal of their marriage promises, this time with all their guests with them. They intuitively knew that a congregation was an integral part of the celebration of a wedding, but did not know exactly why, so they asked me to preach on the spiritual significance of the gathered assembly.
Some have the mistaken notion that a wedding is a private affair for the family, relatives and friends, and that the event belongs to the couple and that they can do with it as they please. However, a marriage is a sacrament, and the sacraments belong to the Church. Sacraments are celebrated with the community while it is at prayer.
Spiritually speaking, the guests at a wedding are representative figures. They are not simply the bride’s and groom’s best friends. They represent the Church. On a smaller scale, they represent the parish. On a regional scale, they represent the local Church or the diocese. And on a broader scale, they represent the universal or worldwide Church, the entire body of Christ.
The celebration of a wedding is the Church gathered at prayer, and there is strength in numbers. The prayer of a few is good, but the prayer can increase and intensify when many join their hearts and voices in praise and worship. The Liturgy of the Word provides an opportunity for instruction and catechesis on the sacrament. For those weddings that are celebrated within the context of a Mass, the reception of the Eucharist provides spiritual nourishment for the newly married couple, as well as the members of the congregation, as they walk the journey of faith.
The couple needs the congregation. It affords the couple an opportunity to witness their faith, not only before God, but publicly before the community. They declare that they are entering a three-way partnership with God as the center of their marriage, and that God is the one who will seal their marriage bond.
They also proclaim before the Church that they intend to be faithful to their marriage vows, that they will live their marriage openly and publicly, in plain sight, for all to see, and as they establish a house church as a couple and a family, that they will remain connected and deepen their relationship with God, their parish and the wider Church.
The congregation has a vital role, not only on the wedding day but beyond. For the guests, it is not a one-day celebration, church and reception, dinner and dance, and then it is over and done. By attending, the members of the congregation agree to pray with and for the couple on their wedding day. Additionally, they serve as the Church’s witnesses to the couple’s marriage promises.
The congregation’s responsibilities are not over after the wedding day. They are just beginning. It will be their duty to continue to pray for the couple; to befriend and support them; to provide help should they need assistance or fall on hard times; to encourage them to be true to each other; to hold them accountable to their marriage promises, particularly if they should wander off course; and to help them stay connected to family, friends and the Church.
Father Van Sloun recently retired as pastor of St. Bartholomew in Wayzata. This column is one in a series on the sacrament of marriage.
Read more of the series on the Eucharist and confirmation
Category: Faith Fundamentals
