A woman believes her relationship of 18 months to be an ‘extremely happy’ one. However, she’s come to fear that they aren’t on the same page when it comes to marriage proposals
She believes two years is enough time to know whether you want to marry someone or not (Stock photo) (
Image: Getty Images)
When in a committed relationship, it’s important to make sure that you’re on more or less the same page about things when it comes to looking forward to the future.
Of course, for many couples, this includes the right time to start thinking about getting married – should you both want to do so – a timeline that will naturally differ from person to person.
One woman claims to have found herself facing a dilemma after realising her partner of 18 months might have very different ideas about what this timeline should look like after he made a surprising remark about his friend’s engagement.
They’ve discussed marriage before (Stock photo)
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Image:
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Taking to the Mumsnet forum, the conflicted woman explained that she and her partner of 18 months have been living together for a year and are “extremely happy” together.
They talk about their future together “a lot”, and are both in agreement that marriage will make up an important part of that. Her partner will even “often make references to ‘when we get married’ and so on”.
With this in mind, the poster had naturally assumed that they both had similar ideas when it came to proposals and engagements and so forth.
She wrote: “We are both in our 30s and both spent years in a bad long-term relationship before we met, so I’m now at the stage where I don’t want to waste any more time and would like full commitment and to settle down”.
She doesn’t “want to waste any more time” (Stock photo)
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In her view, two years “should be more than enough time to judge whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody”, and she doesn’t want to wait too much longer for an engagement ring.
However, the woman has recently had a few concerns following her boyfriend’s reaction to a close friend proposing to his partner of one year. She was surprised when he remarked on “how soon he felt it was”, leading her to be concerned that their “expectations may not be aligned”.
With this in mind, she’s now wondering whether it would be “too pushy and wrong” of her to “discuss my timescales and expectations in terms of the two-year rule”, asking her fellow Mumsnet users whether she should just “shut up and wait it out” instead.
Many commenters have offered advice to the confused poster, with one person urging: “Don’t shut up and wait out! Ask him to see if you both are on the same page. You know what you want so make sure he is the one who you can have the life you want with asap. No time to waste”.
Another suggested: “maybe say, ‘how do you feel about getting married this year?’ And gage his reaction. If he seems all for it then add ‘great, I’ll leave the proposal up to you then’. Hopefully, he’ll propose right then”.
What do you think she should do? Let us know in the comments below.
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